i hate when my boyfriend drinks with his friends

Ive never been all that interested in staying friends, honestly I thought I was with my most recent ex, but looking back on it with some distance now, I can see I still had feelings for him and didnt want to let go. How to Deal With an Alcoholic: Dos, Dont's, Coping - Verywell Mind We have a wonderful life together, but I find the idea of mediating my use so inexplicably difficult at times. So we danced the Ill tell her what she wants to hear dance for over a month. Go to another room or floor or leave the situation altogether. Every plants and food has to be consumed moderately. She was in a toxic relationship at the time with a very religious man who didnt show any affection an was previously in a very abusive relationship before that. It now impacts my life. She tells me so, anyhow. After two hours, my vion blurred and I felt lethargic. For those individuals, the memory of their obnoxious behavior seems to be and probably is erased. I felt miserable because I felt that I would be alone for the rest of my life but one day at work (at a assisted living) I met my boyfriend. I wonder why you would take up with someone whose lifestyle you dont agree with. Even if he has a lot of issues, I still have a huge place in my heart for him. Me and my boyfriend smoke together and it actually helped us talk and even if we dont smoke weed were still the same. Yet again I found out, he didnt tell me. Hes 16 and very nerdy/geeky and weve been dating for almost 2 years and he loves me so I know he wont break his promise. I welcome conversation on this subject. Binge drinking as he is doing is not doing his own long term health any favours at all. For months weve grappled with our togetherness, and I want to be accepting and for everything to be okay. this made me extremely uncomfortable and sometimes he would come to school reeked in weed smell. It took me a long time to realize that whatever the basis for your feelings of simply just not feeling ok with it, how your feel is completely ok. Its normal to feel frustrated when your partner drinks because it can lead to negative consequences like fights and regretful decisions. Once the bus came back to the school, i ran up to her and just broke down. Is it because you dont like how he acts when hes drunk? Now its to the point when if he meets with certain friends or goes out for drinks I get consumed by anxiety that hes smoking. I thought, this would make him reduce smoking because he couldnt hide it from his parents forever and smoke it. Some of the women have not made love with their husbands since their 30s but stuck by them, I think this is very cruel to take such an important expression of love from a relationship and I think these men are very lucky to have these wonderful partners stick by them. And people are so content, they do not realize their hope and dreams are being robbed but this drug that makes you so content you lose your motivation. Some people cannot handle it. The user is happy just chillin out on the couch, watching TV, eating some food. Some times I cant control me anxiety about it and take it out on him and its horrible. Fast forward to last month. THC exacerbates anxiety with continued use, so please stop using this example. The rest of us have made a choice to forego the use of this substance and deserve to have our choices respected. Ive tried to convince him to take edibles but I know deep down it just bothers me in all forms for no real reason, Im looking for help in understanding why I feel that way though I understand the benefits. We had been going through this cycle of me being hurt because of the string of promises he makes and then breaks in the same week. (Btw Im in a similar situation). We were going into debt, but if he wasnt able to obtain his latest interest.. watch out! I am in my mid 30s and i was always extremely uncomfortable with drug use- i still am. It came to him lying about this issue. I still go to work and function like a normal human I pay our bills she helps out when she cans ( Im a bit older than she is and have a well paying secure job) . Click here to learn more about us. They're Resourceful. I have mixed feelings about your tale. I have been seeing this guy off and on for two years. Im so dissapointed. I dont know how long i can take it.. and will i And it is not future what i want for our kids. I used alcohol when I was youngerbut I have grown up and have taken responsibility in life. Thank you. My spouse has always been a smoker and he lies about getting it, how he gets it and wastes money doing it when we cant afford it. He should have never asked me out if this was going to be a problem. It makes me feel alone on the issue because his whole family approves of it, and I dont. I have shared my concerns since t is not legal in our area. You may leave and hell promise to stop to win you back, but I would hate to see you waste as many years as I have only to end up guessing about your future when he repeatedly dissapoints you and the best years of your life have passed you by. I didnt wanna talk to her about it, bc she feels bad and hates herself bc of how much pain this situation has brought me. Like I mentioned earlier, I grew up in a Godly household and was raised not to smoke or drink because they can both alter our consciousness. i chose to forgive him this time because it was our first hiccup. This year, after the annual camping buddies trip, he found more reasons to work late and work often. When we moved out of our condo and into a house with garage. So there are no fights about that, just fights that emulate from his actions of smoking the crap. Prescription medication for depression /anxiety has adverse effects on erection and causes weight gain. Join the millions of viewers discovering content and creators on TikTok - available on the web or on your mobile device. Which you are already sacrificing for his comfort.. dont do this to yourself.. But in worse scenario- my boyfriend is everyday smoker. To add even more onto it, we live in a small college town where consequently pot has a big presence, so most people do partake. But the weed I feel has affected his memory. We all have one life and we all deserve to be happy. My bf of 2 and a half years also smokes most days and i cannot stand it. Last Friday i had to leave the town. (Also, if this is supposed to be an occasional thing, I dont understand why it would be that difficult to keep it away from me.). I ultimately have my own dreams. Planning a life with your soulmate and all gone due to drugs .. Step 1: Stop drinking Step 2: If you can't accomplish step 1, then get appropriate treatment - addiction therapy or a 12-step program. -End the relationship. My boyfriend uses and when we initially got together he smoked daily, when we moved in together I said things had to change and he had to cut down because it wasnt going to become a part of my daily life as well. Towards the end he was angry and pulled away, not even the same person. My boyfriend tried it for the first time a year ago. What are some things that you like about it? When I would ask her how is she getting weed, she would say my friends give it to me free. And I think that it is even more mortifying to my boyfriend that he would have to tell this to his brothers. In my opinion, I would do some research, use your Philosophies to dive deeper into yourself and simply ask yourself: Why do I have such a problem with the substance, other than my social programming? He bought 5 grams of marijuana, would start rolling his first joint at 10AM, and it wouldnt stop until 3AM next day. I called him out. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Take Your Foot Off of the Accelerator. Do This to Get Him Hooked >>> The Surprising Secret That Guarantees Hell Never Pull Away From You Again. I hate it when my boyfriend drinks : r/TrueOffMyChest - Reddit 5. He also tells me im filled with the anti-drug propaganda, but its not as if I avoid such people in my life. I just wish there was a simple way to handle things, but there never is. However while in this new city my anxiety got really bad and because of past problems Ive had with substance use I expressed to him that his weed use was exacerbating my anxiety. Why ? You have to control it, dont let it control you.. What a lot of people have said here is correct if you abuse the drug. About 10 months ago I came across a lady who was pretty much in the same state I was the first night I met her she came around to my house we had never met before however I knew her brother from our car club, she came to my house at 10pm ( I live out in the bush pretty much in the middle of nowhere which was a pretty silly thing to do for a young attractive lady) and she was really ready to die that night, she didnt care who I was if I was going to kill her. The answer is: it's your issue, plural. He ended up going over to his friends every night that week and smoking every night. our situation brought me so much panic i couldnt handle it but him as a person was someone i love so much and love to be around. What are the positive effects? He doesnt want to compromise and that freedom. Many resources are available for people who want help, and seeking treatment can be essential in improving your relationship. I have a question about being in a relationship with someone who smokes weed. 03:08. We moved in together and every time he was stress about work or school he would smoke weed. My boyfriend is so sweet, funny, thoughtful and for the most part, hes dependable. He is responsible for his own actions. his family was so grateful for that. (They broke up around the time my ex and I broke up, and my boyfriend and I met shortly thereafter.) He and I were raised in very different homes. We had the same kind of life but we are individual. I do his washing. 1. I started to forget about it but when summer began, my friend showed me a video of her smoking it the first time. Its not about right or wrong. Have a convo. My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months and have been discussing moving in together. Just to let all you people know. Would you be ok with him reducing his consumption, lets say to more special occasions like parties, concerts, weekends? I was heartbroken. If you cut out the first sentence, you would never guess the conclusion as it went along. 81-year-old Ronna has been a nudist for over 30 years, and she's seen it all. I tried it with him to demystify it all but in heart I know its not how I want to feel. . In a world that sells cigarettes and booze which are very bad for you on every street corner gas station and grocery store in America and we have legalized drug dealers we call doctors pushing antidepressants painkillers and all sorts of drugs on us marijuana seems to be a sane choice. Learn how to draw healthy boundaries in your relationship. If I couldnt be his girlfriend, maybe I could be his best friend. Said he stopped by his friends place and he didnt pass the offer. Signs You're Dating a Person With Alcohol Use Disorder - Verywell Mind When our country went to lockdown due to COVID-19, we were in the honeymoon phase. Hes expressed the same sentiments: that Im close-minded and controlling for not liking it, that it doesnt change him as a person, and understandably that my aversion to it is uncomfortable for him (just as his use is uncomfortable for me) since for him its just ordinary life and how his friends and family spend time together. How do I start over? H e has put back on some of the weight he lost for the part, I'm relieved to see; his skin isn't quite so taut over his skull and there are freckles over those eagle-wing cheekbones. I, on the other hand, have a philosophical problem with drugs in general July 7, 2023, 11:26 PM PDT. There was points in our relationship that exactly describes some of the negative effects when you abuse the drug, you do become more loving when you are high, and more angry moody when you are not. I was still, and still am, still in love with him but I am becoming more worried about our future. He has on multiple occasions slept through or completely forgotten about dates not to mention hell forget we have plans and instead go smoke with friends which makes me feel like he chooses the bud over me. He wont listen to any of the negative side effects and is only focusing on the few studies that are saying its harmless. I feel your pain. PLEASE HELP. You should be concerned if your partner drinks excessively or experiences blackouts or memory loss resulting from drinking. She gets mad at me for drinking, legal, beer. It started half a year in, because up until that point he had hid from me. ZERO. Bf smokes, I dont. And whether its ridiculous (which my boyfriend thinks), or not, its how I feel. He does not want to compromise, and I do not want it in my home, nor do I like watching someone sitting stoned on the couch every single day. His friends are very sweet people to talk to but I hate that they peer pressured my boyfriend to smoke in the past. Now that he's not in one of the "no drinking" periods, having him go out midweek and get drunk on a park bench for some reason genuinely disgusts me. He was crying, begging me to stay, saying that this time he truly understands, he didnt think that he had an issue, but now he sees that he was abusing the drug, not just using it. If you want really get to the root of your problem, simply ask him: Your situation is a bit dicier than those of the women I cite, in that your boyfriend is not ostensibly a substance abuser, except that to ruin an intimate relationship due to substance use is a sign of a drug problem. No? Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over two years and I knew it from the beginning that he smokes pot. What I really want to say is: r u n. Cannabis is certainly not as bad as some hardcore purists want us to believe. Gabriel Evans, Ariel, and all the people who are trying to compromise, turn the other check, or just ignore the the abuse dont waste your time or your life. Likewise your boyfriend is right to feel he should be able to casually entertain his family and friends in his own home. Most of the issues we all are having besides choking ourselves with bad allergies may have to do with issues have with the partner outside the weed, which we probably would not deal with if not a smoker possibly? Tomorrow Im looking at a studio apt and plan to sign a 1 year lease. I told my boyfriend to stop seeing/associating himself with those friends but Ive been called controlling by my own friends and other people. I have been trying to accept it all this time, first the lies, and now the truth and it makes me crazy. Hiding it from me and doing it. This is a deal breaker. im scared of her getting addicted. Hard as it is. I know its going to be extremely painful to walk away from him but imagine having kids and his and his friends influence on your kids. I then smoked it for a while with my long term partner and became very depressed and paranoid. Im going through something very similar. He said that if I wanted him to stop he would so I asked him to. If anyone wants to talk about this, I would LOVE that. At first I thought it was an occasional thing but gradually I realised that be cant go a day without it. But he was never a social smoker, so I let him be. At first i didnt care. He has too much to drink and starts talking rubbish and thinks he's sexy and hell no I'm not touching that when he's drunk. Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half now, and have dealt with my intense discomfort over his smoking. He is a functional daily user and has been all his life. But it all feels so powerful and so personal. Going through a marriage breakup with kids is not worth it. Cos he knows i dont wanna see it. Cookie Notice All rights reserved. At 17 our son started to go in with him. Too much sugar leads to diabetes, alcohol is harsh on your liver and smoking tobacco (my bro does) can cause lung problems. People who have alcohol use disorder can sometimes exhibit behaviors of someone who is angry drunk and the situation can be very challenging to deal with. Fast forward a month before school starts were out at the beach and I just ask her if shes smoked weed again she was hesitant to respond but I persisted her with the question which she then said yes. Its only the husbands, the wives all gave up when they had children. I suppose Im just asking for some guidance anything i feel so lonley. It is true or not? my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I get so anxious around the thought of him smoking weed. He was acting shady all day and then I finally called him and asked him if he smoked and he just says yes. He said he felt the same. I know I havent helped much, but I think you have helped me in my situation and that I am being a little too controlling and demanding by asking him to stop completely, as it is something he was open about with me right from the start and I knew what I was getting myself into. He always tells me he does it mostly because music sounds better that way and whenever hes happy it makes him feel even better (he deals with depression). Offer help. I used weed every once in a while at parties, but ended up stopping because I had a HUGE panic attack after using it. That could be used for something else or save for something more important than weed. My kids want to call him dad he is so involved with them like his own! After about a year or a little more, we got serious about our future, and together decided our drinking and pot smoking days were over, time to grow up I guess you could say. My Boyfriend Has a Drinking Problem. We have been apart for over 40 years and he still spoke periodically. Hi youve all helped me get a really interesting perspective, thank you! If they are getting stoned every day why are they getting stoned every day ? His work has been published in leading professional journals and popular publications around the globe. However, some general guidelines can help determine if your partners drinking habits cause concern. You even admitted that youre too close minded to accept this. We believe that addiction is a compelling, destructive involvement that, because it detracts from other areas of peoples lives, forces them to rely with greater exclusivity on the addictive experience they get from the involvement, whether with drugs or anything else: Find Out More about our Drug Addiction program. This went on up until about two years ago. If I leave, he owns everything and I will be homeless with no money. How am I going to deal with this? (Sounds like you have a problem with a relatively benign substance that your boyfriend uses to relax and enjoy himself. It was like a mid life wakeup call. It will never work out and it will only get worse. You already have had hundreds of responses here. They are just fooling themselves about using. He now sneaks out to buy his pot and tells me he is going elsewhere. Buried with an elephant's tusk, an ivory comb, a crystal dagger, an ostrich eggshell and a flint dagger inlaid with amber, the skeleton discovered in a tomb near Seville, Spain, in 2008 was . The mood swings were getting violent. I avoided this issue because I was afraid that we would not see each other if I did tell him how much I dislike that he smokes weed. From the class she had the first time she smoked it, to what beach she was at with her sister the second time she smoked it. Dear Ariel and many others here, I hope my post helps see what your future most likely holds. I feel like I cant allow myself to fully trust him, because if theres a side to him that I dont know, then I dont really know him. like later that day he started begging, he realized his mistake he was so sorry he was begging me to come back. We see eachother on a schedule of his Wednesday night Nd sat night.. if im busy or need to change it to thursday instead he freaks out cos its change. Hello, and welcome to MeetFusion, my name is Alicia, and Im the owner of this piece of web real estate, where I help people build stronger, lasting relationships. Ik I need help, but idk what will work. I have to quit this relationship cold turkey and find my own happiness back. He started to work out, read a book, eat clean, go to bed early. I also lived for those rare moments where my bf and I were alone and had a good time without him smoking weed. I think I want to stop feeling conflicted. Do you feel like you need it? I would suck up to her to get on her good side (listen to her problems, cook, clean, etc. In this video, we will discuss the signs of a man that drinks too much, what you can do to help him, and where to find support. Moreover, this sweet boyfriend gave me 3x swedish fish like gummies and ate them . I gave my all and he seemed to carry on just fine. While I learnt how to grow/proper gate/clone/ over the months and many failures and dead plants I also studied cannabis the effects, what it does to your brain, I spent a lot of time reading peoples research like Terence Mckenna, and the more I learnt the more I was intrigued, the more I read about this drug which I had be told my whole life was the devil etc was in fact helping people.. After about 8-9 months my little buds where ready and I then experimented with it for a year.. But, whenever he and his family or friends hangout, all they do is smoke weed and mess around. I think that I will manage to change for him because he doesn't become violent when he drinks or something. Children know whos a good person and who isnt regardless if they see a beer in their hand. Because I quit alcohol over a decade ago and weed is everywhere I turn. He said no. ?? I wish I didnt care. Needless to say, after committing seven years of my life to a relationship that I truly believed in, the decision is not easy. Biden defends decision to send Ukraine cluster munitions. Marriage is a lifelong journey. Now hes got a relaxed job with a moving company and they all smoke together at work!!!! When Should I Be Concerned About My Partners Drinking? The person stuck in their head and away from reality is you. I met my boyfriend in college 9 months ago. We get into the WORST fights of yelling and talking down to each other. We still have heated discussions about her usage and with Canada about to legalize pot, Im not sure where that will leave us. I dont drink or do drugs because I also have an issue with the escapist mentality. Maybe you want him to tell you every time he sees her, or maybe you decide its better to not hear about it. Dear Ariel, Im in a similar situation as yours. I have not been able to put my thoughts and feelings into words, but when I read these comments I know exactly what each of you are going through. I broke down and had a huge panic attack when I saw him smoke again after he literally swore to me he was done for a while. What he presented as one joint before the bed turned out to him getting high, 20 mins past, then getting high some more, and then some more before passing out Infront of the TV. He describes it as something ceremonial and something that connects him to his friends and brothers. But he gets lazy ans forgetful when he smokes. 4. I find my husband unattractive when he drinks because he becomes emotional and cries a lot. We have just broken up today, as a result of the lies, drugs and just general lack of appreciation given towards my feelings. I hate my boyfriend's friends. They are really into drugs and drinking Why does anyone feel like a safe person to spill your guts to? If you are uncomfortable being around weed (and especially if your significant other comes from a pothead family) the answer is simple: Leave now. Moving into a serious relationship and positioning yourself between him and those he is close with isnt exactly a recipe for success. and our Cillian Murphy on Oppenheimer, sex scenes and self-doubt: 'I'm stubborn That was 8 years ago. One night, he went out with his friends did all those drugs and cheated on me. We both come from single parent families.. And we promised we wouldnt do that to our son. I was feeling a bit better and I tried telling my closest friends how I was feeling. We were in long distance for more than a year. He kept smoking every time we were with his friends. I do believe that we should accept each other for who he/she is.

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